We received news today that I should feel incredibly excited about but instead feel terribly anxious! We put together a photo album for Eli with tons of pictures titled "your new family.". It was given to Eli today...we were told, " he was over the moon excited and ran around showing it to his nannies and friends as if he'd never been more proud.". I should be thrilled and touched by his excitement but instead I am worried that we have just dangled something in front of this sweet boy that we may not be able to deliver...he has been awaiting for over 13 years for a family, the reality of a mom and dad, brothers and sisters....I realize that God has to come through in a big way now...maybe even more so than before! It's not just Tracey and I on this side of the world fighting and longing to get to him and bring him home....it's him in China with his album showing him his new family and him waiting and wondering when we will come for him. This isn't a two year old that doesn't fully grasp the idea of adoption...this a a 13 year old that knows time is working against him and that if this family in this album doesn't deliver as promised before he turns 14...he's back to orphan status forever.
It is so hard for an orphan to truly grasp the concept of a family...taking Mei to the zoo this weekend was a joy as every animal exhibit we saw, he pointed out the mommy, daddy, brothers and sisters. Just to think 2 years ago he had no clue what family meant and had never felt that sense of belonging. Now he relates to everything in the perspective of family. I so want the same for Eli..and for Zoe too that they can know the love and joy and security of belonging to a family.
We are now starting over with immigration since they lost our paperwork. We should have already completed this process and be sending our dossier to China by now. Please pray with us that God would truly move mountains...that He would enable the powers that be to rush our paperwork through from this step forward. Please pray with us as the paperwork is processing, that the money would come...we still lack about $15000 in getting Eli ad Zoe home. More than anything, please pray with us that we can keep our promise to Eli and that God would make a reality the family he is viewing in the album. Pray for comfort Eli...I cannot imagine the feelings running through his mind right now...pray as well for peace for Tracey and I as we trust Gods timing and sovereignty through this process.